Better Late than Never…

Mother knows best?

“Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:9 

Can I Laugh Now?  *Helping you see the humor in life’s sometimes embarrassing, unfortunate circumstances.

Better Late than Never

A professional procrastinator, I found myself saying “better late than never” almost every day. That was until I heard someone say “better never late.” Dang, she was right.

A couple of weeks ago, my mom and I were sitting on the couch watching Teen Mom 2. (Don’t judge me.) At that point in the show, Leah was having a heart-to-heart with her mother. My mom looks at me and asks, “How come you never talk to me like that?” Uhhhhh…I’m speechless. I’m 26 and I can count the number of heart-to-hearts my mother and I have had on one hand. Why all of a sudden the desire to start now? So I’m honest with her. I tell her that that is not the type of relationship we have (I’m sure being a notorious Daddy’s Girl, preferring the company of her ex-husband over her, doesn’t help either).

There was once a time when I preferred my mother’s company above others’. I remember as a pre-teen coming to her to discuss sex; the topic was immediately dismissed and I was sent away. After that I no longer viewed my mother as someone to talk to (now granted, most parents mishandle the sex talk, but unfortunately I took it to heart). From that point on I turned to friends and my aunt when I needed advice, solace, or just a trusting ear. I remember walking home from middle school and listening to my girlfriends go on and on about the awesome relationships they had with their mothers and somewhat wanting that for myself but I accepted that that  just wasn’t the relationship we had. And high school only strained our relationship further. It seemed that we argued more and more each day. So eventually I gave up all together. I conceded that our relationship would remain superficial at best. (To her defense she was going through a nasty divorce. But at my age I was unable to empathize.)

So fast forward to today. I am thrilled to say that my mother is far from the bitter, depressed woman she used to be, and she is actually making an effort to reach out to me. So what do I do? I mean I am grown now. I feel those heart-to-heart talks were for my teen years. Well…this is Love-a-lution month at church. So I guess it’s time for me to practice what I preach. She is my mother after all. I should be happy that she wants to rekindle a relationship. She could have easily given up like I did. I’m not saying that it is going to be easy, but it’s worth a shot. I owe her that much at least. Yeah, we’re trying this late as hell. But better late than never. In this case at least.

So I need some good bonding activities. What’s your favorite activity to do with family? Help me out. I’m new at this. I’ll let you know how it goes. 🙂

Until Next Time,

-Belle

4 thoughts on “Better Late than Never…

  1. I have a very similar relationship with my mom. When I was growing up, my mother was very strict, over-protective, and mean. According to her, she was that way because she only wanted the best for me. It was impossible to communicate with her sometimes because she responded so harshly by yelling or using physical punishment to discipline us. That created a strain in our relationship because I felt like I couldn’t talk to her about anything. I would say our relationship was pretty rocky between the periods of 6th grade up until the first three years of college. That’s a long period of time!!

    I hear her on the phone sometimes telling her friends that we are best friends and in my mind I’m asking myself is she delusional or is she lying to herself because we are definitely NOT best friends. We barely talk and like you mentioned in your post, I can count on one hand how many heart to hearts we have had over the course of my life. Looking back I understand that she did in fact only want the best for me and she was trying to raise me up to be the person that I am today but the downside was that our relationship was affected drastically.

    So now here I am in my mid 20’s trying to establish a better relationship with my mother. Sadly at times when I talk to my mom, I feel like I’m talking to a stranger because she doesn’t really know me due to that long period of time we went without communicating. I think a lot of parents go wrong when they are too authoritative and act as if they never made mistakes. In my situation it resulted in me distancing myself from her and closing the doors of communication; a factor that is KEY in any successful relationship. I make efforts now to talk to her a little bit every day so we can slowly build a better relationship. One activity that I plan on doing to help us strengthen our relationship is to take periodic mini trips together. It’s something you can try also as you try to establish a better relationship with your mom.

  2. I have a wonderful relationship with my mother. There really is nothing like a mother/daughter relationship. There are some things only a mother can teach you. Now I’m not saying that I can talk to my mom about EVERYTHING. She’s a little old fashion so there are still some things she doesn’t want to hear her little girl talk about. But I know if I can’t go anywhere else I can always come home to my mommy. Keep trying ladies…my prayer is that you develop a fun, loving, special bond with your mothers.

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