I do?…I don’t!

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Can I Laugh Now? *Encouraging you to see the humor in life’s embarrassing moments*

Here’s what I think about marriage. I’m thinking I don’t want any parts of it. So many people ask me, “Kitta, do you really not want to get married…ever?” And my answer is YES! I really do not want to get married…EVER (in all caps so you know it’s real). Go ahead and have a seat so I can tell you my thoughts. Now if you’re happily married then kudos to you, may God continue to bless your marriage. But I gotta be honest, I talk to a diverse group of people, young, old, black, white; and none of them make me envious of the fact that they’re married and I’m not. And if you’re one of those people that I associate with, my apologies, but it’s true. Every time I talk to you I am happy to still be single.

Now I’m about to be brutally honest so don’t you judge me! And you may want to go ahead and have that seat I spoke about earlier because it’s about to get real up in here, up in here. I believe that one of my biggest fights with God is the fact that I do not want to get married, but I sometimes want to do the things that married people do. Wipe that stank look off your face! The struggle is real and I know I’m not the only one who thinks and feels that way. I’m just one of the few that’s bold enough to admit it and share it with the readers of this blog. And it’s not like I’m out spreading my unmarried wild oats; I said sometimes I WANT to do the things that married people do, didn’t say I act on those feelings.

Someone made the comment that me wanting to do the things that married people do without getting married, is like wanting to earn a paycheck without actually working. Um no ma’am, I disagree with that comment. Don’t ask me why, I just do. I know what the bible says about this–1 Corinthians 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. And let me reiterate, and I can’t stress this enough, I am not actually out doing the things that married people do. I just sometimes want to. So now let’s get to the real meat of this blog, why I don’t want to get married…EVER! And at the end of this blog I’m going to tell you something that will make your mouth drop so keep reading. 😉

I associate with quite a few married people and they do not make marriage look attractive. I had someone say that marriage is what you make it. Ummm, that’s all you have to say about your marriage? Where is the, “I’m so in love with my wife” or “I love being married to this man”? I mean I’m already trying to make the best of this thing called life, you mean I have to just make the best of being married? No! If I get married I want it to be because we are in love and I want us to remain in love with each other. Yes I expect to have ups and downs but I want to be able to say more than “marriage is what you make it.” Now I know what you’re saying, “Don’t most people get married because they are in love?” Yes, but how many remain in love? And how many stay together out of convenience?

Okay, Okay I’m done babbling. Reason #1 why I don’t want to get married is that I don’t want to have to ask or discuss my plans with anyone. For example, when me and friends make plans to go out to dinner or drinks or whatever, my married girlfriends of course, have to discuss it with their husbands first. I like not having to discuss my plans with anyone else. If I want to go to Zimbabwe and buy a zebra, guess what I don’t have to make sure it’s okay with my better half first, I just go. Well, not really because I can’t afford to do that and I’m afraid of animals…but you get what I mean. Now I agree that the respectful thing is to talk to your mate before you make any plans, I just don’t want to, which is why I’m single.

Coolest quotes - - 21Reason #2, I don’t want to have all of my me time taken away. Me time, I love it, I crave it, I must have it. I am actually somewhat of a loner. If you know me or know of me, I probably come off as someone who loves being around people, and I do…30% of the time. The other 70% is reserved for me, myself and I. One of my married friends commented about how when she first got married she had to get accustomed to having her husband come and sit on the couch with her while she was trying to watch one of her favorite television shows. She was use to being able to sit on her couch, alone, and relax while watching television. Let me tell ya, I like coming home to an empty house and sitting on the couch ALONE! Unless I’ve just watched an episode of Criminal Minds or Forensic Files, then you can sit with me on the couch because those shows sometimes spook me…but I love them!

Reason #3, I don’t want to get married, just to get divorced. I have seen so many people going through divorces, even had a really close friend go through it and it broke my heart to see her go through that pain. I once heard someone say that it would be easier to lose your spouse to death than divorce, because divorce feels just like death; but instead you have to watch this person build a new life with someone else. WOW! I’m not saying all marriages end up in divorce, but a lot of them do. Call me chicken, but I’m not willing to take that risk.

Reason #4, I don’t want to become an old boring married couple. The married people I know never do anything fun. I know several people that were always down to have fun…until they got married. I have a friend that was so much fun to be around, and then he got married. His wife sucked all of the fun out of him! Because she doesn’t like to do certain things he can longer do them either. She doesn’t drink, so he can’t drink either (now if your spouse is a recovering alcoholic then by all means, be respectful of that). She doesn’t like to go ANYWHERE, so he can’t go ANYWHERE either. Just because your spouse doesn’t enjoy certain things doesn’t mean you have to give up those things too. As long as everything is done in moderation and you are not disrespecting your spouse or marriage, you should still be able to have fun. I don’t go out much but I don’t want to be confined to my house because my spouse is a lamer and doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere.

Reason #5…yeah I don’t have anything else, I just don’t want to get married. I think I’ve given you enough reasons. And by now you all are probably thinking this girl is either crazy or has been hurt…A LOT! Well it’s a little bit of both, because let’s be real, we’ve all been hurt and we all have a little bit of crazy in us that we use when necessary. The big truth is I love being single. I love being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I don’t want to make time for someone else in my life right now. I have too many other things I want to do and marriage is not one of them. For all those that desire to be married, great, keep praying for the one God has designed for you and don’t settle. Will my thoughts and feelings on marriage ever change? I think my mom is praying that they will. Oh, and remember I said that I had something that would make your mouth drop? Well here it is…..

I have a secret board on pinterest that only I can see. On this board is nothing but wedding stuff…dresses, flowers, rings, decorations, etc. I have my whole wedding planned out and I even know who I want my future husband to be. But I know that’s up to God because he could have someone else in mind. And no it’s not Usher. I love him but I’m not as delusional as I may seem him it comes to him.

Utterly confused now? Yeah me too. LOL

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Until next time Laughers…Keep Laughing


3 thoughts on “I do?…I don’t!

  1. Pingback: Marriage is Like Kitchenware and It Doesn’t Matter What Men Want. | Clutch Magazine « Habari Gani, America!

  2. Pingback: Guest post: "I've been miserably married, blissfully married and gleefully single. Nothing beats a good marriage." - Wealthy Single Mommy

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