The Haves vs The Have Nots

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Can I Laugh Now? *Encouraging You To See The Humor In Life’s Embarrassing Moments*

Some people crave it. Some will do whatever it takes to get it. Some people are addicted to it and don’t know how to let go. Your parents want you to have, society thinks you can’t live without it. EDUCATION! We’ve been taught that without it, we’re nothing; that without, we will never have any of the luxuries that life has to offer. But what is education? Well, when most people think of education they think about knowledge that is acquired at a college or university. But Yahoo provides what I think is a more accurate definition of education: An instructive or enlightening experience. So Yahoo is suggesting that you don’t have to go to college to be educated? How dare they! Everyone knows that the only way to be educated and make lots of money and enjoy success is to go to college and get a degree…right? Hmph! Maybe we should rethink how label people as “educated.” I use to say, “I want an educated man.” Meaning I wanted a man who went to college. That was such an uneducated statement.

429896_10100141721306550_1095595369_n I have a college degree, but I’m a horrible speller…spell check and auto correct are my BFFs. I have a college degree, but I still use my fingers and toes to count. I have a college degree, but I still have those infamous “blonde” moments (sorry blondes). I have a college degree, but I still make stupid life decisions. I have a college degree…okay whatever, you get it. Having a college degree doesn’t automatically make one smart. In fact, there are very few people who actually use their degrees after college; meaning that many people work in fields that aren’t even related to what they went to school for. I know because I’m one of those people.

So why do so many people go after a “textbook education?” Why do so many high school students bust their butts to get good grades in order to get into a good school and receive a “textbook education?” Because people are taught that is the only way to make it. Not true. Now don’t get me wrong, I would not trade my education, my degree, my time in college, for anything. But 80 percent of my education obtained while pursuing my degree didn’t come from the classroom, it came from the experiences I had with the people I met, the organizations I was involved in, and the unexpected roadblocks and heartaches during that time. I learned the importance of diversity through the people I met, I learned how to be a good leader through the organizations I was involved in, I learned how to be strong all by myself when I was going through heartbreak. There were two people who would jump in their car without hesitation and drive an hour just to bring me what I needed or just to spend time with me, so I learned who I could and couldn’t call and depend on if I were ever in trouble. I learned that no matter how old I get, I will always be my mommy’s baby, and I’m fine with that–through meeting other people I saw that not everyone can claim that status with their mothers and that was a learning experience in itself. I learned that people will take advantage of you, if you let them, and you have to stake your claim in this world. Unfortunately nothing will be thrown in your lap, and just because you have a degree and no matter how hard you worked for it, people will not look at you and differently, you still have to prove yourself and your worth.

Education in any form is a powerful tool. Whether you’re educated through the formal teachings at a higher learning institution, educated through your life experiences or travel, or educated by the streets, you can use it to your advantage. But what you must always keep in mind is that you cannot put yourself above anyone else, thinking that your “textbook education” makes you smarter. I say that because I have seen it before. You are not guaranteed a job straight out of college. You may have to start in a job that think you’re too good for because you have a college degree. I had an associate that was in desperate need of a job, but she refused to work at certain places because, in her words, “Girl I have a college degree, I’m not doing that.” So she continued to eat hotdogs and noodles for dinner and borrow money from everyone because she couldn’t swallow her pride and take that right now job until God decided to bless her with a different position. You ever get upset because it seems like those without a college degree, the have nots, get better opportunities or make more money? Maybe it’s because you have no idea how hard they have worked to get to that point. Yes, you worked hard for your education and degree, but maybe they took a different route but still worked just as hard. No matter how much education you have, whether you’re part of the haves or the have nots, you cannot promote yourself before God says it’s time.

       “For everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled. And he who humbles himself shall be promoted.” ~Luke 14:11                      You are not promoted until God promotes you!

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~Kitta

Rejection Isn’t Fair!

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Can I Laugh Now? *Encouraging You To See The Humor In Life’s Embarrassing Moments*

Is there an easy way to tell someone you’re just not that into them? When someone puts themselves out there and spills their heart to someone it is often something they have been holding in for a while and have been working up the courage to say. From personal experience that’s a hard thing to do. So if you’re the recipient of those special words and you don’t share the same feelings, how do you tell them? Are you honest and say exactly how you’re NOT feeling? Or do you dance around it and ultimately ignore the situation until that person finally gets the hint? What if you can’t find anything wrong with this person? They say and do all the right things, and they embody everything you are looking for in a significant other, but you still can’t bring yourself to get into them.

keep_calm_and_btw_its_not_me_its_you_by_teenage_metal_head-d50ev7vI’ve been on the receiving end of both expressing and being expressed to, and neither situation is easy when you or the other person doesn’t return those feelings. So let’s deal with the situation of someone having feelings for you that you do not share or are not ready to share. How do you let the other person down without hurting their feelings? Or are hurt feelings inevitable? I have only dealt with these situations in two ways, I ignore it until it goes away or I give a generic, watered down response. What do I mean by generic, watered down response? You ask all the right questions, and I have all the right answers. I have, in the past, responded by saying, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” or “I’m just not looking for a relationship at this time” or “I have too much going on right now and I don’t have time to commit to someone else.” Watered down, meaning I’m saying just enough to get out of revealing my real feelings and not hurt their feelings too much. Generic because I am not telling the real reason I don’t want to pursue a relationship with this person, “It’s not me, it’s you. I’m just not into you.”

I’ve been talking to a friend of mine that is going through this right now. She had a young man tell her how much he likes her. He has practically planned their wedding and impregnated her so they can have the perfect little family…in his head. And guess what? She doesn’t feel the same way about him. Now he’s a really good guy that would make some woman very happy, but she’s not that woman. And that’s okay, as long as she tells him that and doesn’t string him along. But how does she turn down what others would consider the almost perfect guy? How could you walk away from something you know you may not find ever again…in life?!

I have found that it doesn’t matter how good a person is, how good they are to you, and much they have going for them, if that person is not the right person for YOU, it won’t work. He or she could be the one that everyone else would kill to be with…loves God, good job, good personality, good looks, does and says all the right things…but if he or she is not THAT person, there’s no way you can be with them and be happy. We all have THAT person that we want to be with, even if we don’t admit it. We compare just about everyone to them and no one measures up, no one can serve as a replacement. You can have someone saying all the right things, ready to give you the world, but it means nothing if it doesn’t come from the right person. How do you feel when you wake up to the “good morning” text, the “I’ve been thinking about you all day” text, the “I would do anything for you” text…when it comes from THAT person? You can’t even put into words the feeling that comes over you. You’ll run smack into a pole trying to reply to that text. Now think about how you feel when you get those same messages from someone you have absolutely no feelings for. I know, your facial expression just went from sugar to salt. You may even have your friends and family in your ear telling you, “Giiiiirrrrl you better not let this one get away. He’s the one!”

So when people try to make you feel stupid for passing up what they see as the best thing that ever happened to you, just say okay and keep it moving. You owe no one an explanation. Remember, you’ll have chemistry with a lot of people. But not all chemistry should lead to a romantic relationship. Some chemistry is just the chemistry of finding a really good friend. You can’t fall for everyone because of the chemistry between you. Just because a person seems perfect, doesn’t mean they’re perfect for you. So how do you tell someone that you’re just not that interested in them without hurting their feelings? You can simply say, “I just don’t see us as being compatible enough to date and I would rather be honest with you now than to, later, try to explain to you why it didn’t work between us.” Is that easy? No! Will someone still probably be a little hurt? Yes! But if they don’t respect you for your honesty, then you just dodged a big ol sore loser bullet. Just kidding…not really.

OAN: I am so tired of hearing about Kimye (Kanye and Kim). Who cares that she “got him for 18 years.” Kim is not the first person to have a baby and end up being a baby mama and Kanye is not the first baby daddy. And they sure won’t be the last. I know several baby mamas/daddies, but the media is not stalking them. Stop giving Kimye the attention that they don’t deserve.

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Until next time Laughers…Keep Laughing

~Kitta