Ditch The Name!

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Can I Laugh Now? *Turning Pain Into Laughter Since 2011*

What’s in a name, more specifically, a last name? I have always wondered why some women keep their married last name after they have gotten a divorce. I would think that after you have separated yourself from that man and situation you would be glad to also get rid of the last name associated with that man or situation.  Especially if it was a bad marriage or the divorce got ugly. But many women choose to keep their married last name after a divorce.  So what about when that ex husband marries another woman? Now he has two women with his last name. If it were me, I wouldn’t want to have his last name after he’s given to another woman.  It’s like he’s collecting trophies or trying to see how many women he can give his last to.  I know that may sound weird to you, but that’s how I see it.  And if you are a regular reader of my blogs you know that I have an unconventional way of thinking so get that confused look off your face.

hello-my-name-is1

To satisfy my curiosity, I asked a few of my divorced Laughers why they chose to keep their married last name. Here’s what they had to say:

Laugher #1: “I kept my (married) last name for quite some time after my divorce so that my daughter would realize, that at some point, her father and I loved each other and that she was born into a family of love.”

Laugher #2: “Possibly convenience. If you have a lot going on ie: school, passport, military orders, ect, ect, ect, it’s necessary to keep everything consistent. It’s more than just changing your license… Takes time to call and correspond with all the necessary people, so sometimes it’s just easier to suck it up for the time being. The inconvenience of it all will definitely make me think hard about ever leaving my maiden name again.”

Laugher #3: “I still use my married name because my daughter asked me too. She wanted her and her mommy to have the same name. Otherwise I would’ve dropped it in a heartbeat!!!!”

Laugher #4: “I have had this last name for the past 11 years. The only thing I had to change when I got married was my driver’s license and my social security card…I was only 19. But now there is so much I would have to change and go through, it is just easier to keep my married last name even though we are divorced. And it bugs his new girlfriend so that’s a bonus.”

Some of these reasons I can understand, but the one about having to go through so much just to change your name back…not so much.  Yes, I understand that it may be a long time consuming process, but who wants to be stuck with the last name of a man you are no longer married to? Do you not think that if you meet someone that wants to give you his last name, at some point he may get offended that you are still holding on to ex’s last name? It’s like you’re still holding on to the past. How do you move forward holding on to something that you are no longer a part of? Maybe I’m over thinking it and I just don’t understand because I’m not in that situation. I don’t think the hassle of all the paperwork involved in changing your name is the real reason some people keep their married last name.  I think it’s the process of letting go of the past that influences people to keep that last name. For example, Tameka Raymond, Usher’s ex wife. She was married once before and she didn’t keep that last name, so why is she holding on to Raymond? Ditch it! And move on!

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Until next time Laughers…Keep Laughing

~Kitta

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