I’m Not Fat, I’m Just Thick

Markitta-1011ad

Turning Pain Into Laughter Since 2011

I absolutely abhor the word ‘thick’ when used to describe someone’s body, mainly the female body. EVERYBODY wants to be thick! I believe the word thick is a glorified term for the word fat. Why are we celebrating obesity by trying to camouflage it as ‘thick’? Women that are overweight will quickly label themselves as ‘thick’ rather than fat. We strive to have the biggest butts and thighs. This is the way most people describe the difference between thick and fat: if a woman has a big butt, big hips, and fat thighs but has a fairly small waist she’s considered to be ‘thick’. But if she has a gut, with the same big butt, hips, and thighs, THEN she’s fat. What the freak?! Flat stomach huge butt and thighs, not fat….big stomach with the same huge butt and thighs, fat. Never mind that the girl with the flat stomach is 5’5 and weighs 250…she’s just thick, not fat. Because of the extra weight she’s carrying in her butt, hips and thighs, there’s extra strain on her knees…but she thick though! Ayyyyeeeee!

I was watching the latest episode of Being Mary Jane and Mary Jane, played by Gabrielle Union, was talking to her niece, played by Raven Good win, about her weight and getting healthy. It’s like she was in my head because she took the words right out of my mouth:

mary jane and niecy

Mary Jane: This conversation is about your health, about Diabetes, High Cholesterol, High Blood Pressure

Niecy: I am Healthy, I’m just Thick!

Mary Jane:  No no no, Do not get me started on the whole, I’m thick conversation!

Niecy: Oh please get started, please.

Mary Jane: Ok, Why does every overweight black woman in the hood think she’s thick? We don’t eat well, we don’t exercise, and then we justify our diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure by saying I was born this way, God made me 60lbs overweight, and you know what, it’s all fun and games until you lose a foot at 40 from diabetes messing around trying to be an a** model on Instagram, ain’t nobody gonna call ya thick when you got three toes left.

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I’m not a skinny girl, so don’t think I’m picking on the fat girls. Nor do I have the desire to ever be skinny. I’m a person who is very health conscious and I am more concerned with being healthy than having a big butt or big thighs. I am a person that thinks we should be tired of losing friends and family to diseases that we can actually control and manage through diet and exercise. Ladies you can have a nice body without being skinny. I have no desire to be skinny, that’s not why I workout and try to watch what I eat. I workout mainly for my health, having a nice body is the icing on the cake. I have curves and I want to keep my curves, but I don’t want to be overweight. And ladies, can we please stop letting men and the media set the standard for our idea of what’s beautiful.

Why are we so quick to label someone as thick and not call it what it is…FAT?! I think the main reason women love to label themselves thick is because the word fat has become profane. Fat sounds sloppy and nasty while thick sounds curvy and voluptuous. Fat and thick are the same…they both are used to describe obese and overweight individuals. Stop glorifying fatness by calling it thickness…Fat is not thick! It’s FAT…OVERWEIGHT…OBESE! Calling it thick doesn’t change its’ appearance.

As always…Keep Laughing!

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Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice.  Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.

Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice. Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.

I Don’t Bite

Markitta-1011ad

Turning Pain Into Laughter Since 2011

It’s Saturday night, I’ve picked out a cute outfit, attempted to achieve a cute hair style, and put on a small amount of make-up. Just enough to make me look a little less homely but not so much that I’ve transformed into a completely different person. And no, I’m not preparing for a date, I’m prepping for a night out with my girls to celebrate one of my best friend’s birthday. I’m feeling pretty good about myself, you know, feeling all brand new, like I’m fresh out of the shrink wrap. Now I don’t go out looking for prospects, especially at a club, but it’s always nice to be noticed by the opposite sex. Even though we girls have the tendency to turn down most men that approach us because most of us are picky (I mean have high standards), it’s a boost of confidence to know that others find us cute enough or interesting enough to approach us.

So we’re having a good time, dancing and having a few drinks, and I’m in chill mode. And I think I have a welcoming smile on my face, you know, still thinking that I’m cute. As time goes on, all three of my friends have been approached by guys. Even my married friend gets approached…she turned him down of course, in fact every guy that approached my circle was turned down, but that’s not the point. The point is I’m standing over here giving my best “I’m single, approach me” face and I’m left feeling like the ugly duckling. What the freak?!?! I mean do I have permanent buggers in my nose? Doo doo breath? One of my eyes is bigger than the other but you can’t really tell unless you stare at me for a few minutes. Wait…OMG…are they staring at me?! Anyway, I’m here too, I don’t bite, and I want to be approached! Even if I do turn them all down…it’s the principle of the matter.

I always get compliments from the opposite sex and I think I’m cute so what is it that makes me unapproachable? What message am I sending that stops people, particularly men, from coming up to me in a social setting? Well, when trying to see yourself for what it really is, sometimes it’s best to ask others how they see you because that view can sometimes be different from the view you have of yourself.

So when I asked a few guys, and girls, what makes a girl unapproachable and I got pretty good answers…most of which applied to me:

What makes a girl unapproachable?

1) Her attitude

2) Her appearance

3) Frowning (not smiling)

4) Body shape and facial features

5) The way she’s dressed

6) If she looks like she’s not having fun (if we’re in a social setting)

After getting these responses I realized that I am guilty of four of the items on this list.  WOW! I have to admit, I kind of know why I rarely, almost never, get approached when out in social settings. I tend to have my guard up because, I hate having to turn people down if I’m not interested. Yes, I hate turning people down. Instead of just saying I’m not interested I always say, “Sorry I’m taken.” I’m such a liar! Sometimes I just really don’t want to be bothered. When I want to just chill with my girls and have a good time, I consciously don’t smile because I don’t want to be approached. The problem is I think I frown more often than smile. I simply don’t look approachable. So my goal is to become more approachable, and I’ve compiled a list of things I’m going to do to achieve that goal.

1) Smile 🙂

smile

Smiling makes you appear more confident. There is an attraction factor which makes people more drawn to you when you smile.

2) I’m going to have fun…or at least make it look like I’m having fun!

have-fun-enjoy-life

People want to be around someone who they enjoy spending time with…I mean, who doesn’t like to have fun?! AYYEEEE TURN UP!

3) Be more confident!

self-confidence-is-the-most-attractive-quality-a-person-can-have

When I worked as a bartender and waitress in a night club (yep I worked in a night club) there was a girl who frequented the club almost every Friday and Saturday. She was what I would consider ‘less than attractive‘, but she always captured the attention of several guys in the club. One of the bodyguards made the comment, “She may not be the most attractive girl in the club but she has confidence. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks, she loves herself and guys are attracted to that type of confidence.

4) Appearance

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I’m not a ‘heels and dresses/skirts everyday‘ kind of girl, but I do own a few pair of heels that I can throw on for special occasions. So from here on out I am going to start taking more care with my appearance. Now I’m not a sloppy girl, I don’t live in sweats and sneakers all the time but I am not a fan of wearing heels all the time either, even though I own so many pair that many of them still have the price tags on them. But I will make a conscious effort to make myself more ‘appealing and approachable’. And I’ll throw on some lip gloss and mascara at least 3 times a week. 😉

If you have more suggestions on how one can make themselves more approachable, please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

As always…Keep Laughing!

Follow me: Twitter
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Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice.  Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.

Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice. Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.