Things You Don’t Need To Know: Mother’s Day Edition

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Turning Pain Into Laughter Since 2011

Do you sometimes ask your mom questions about her past? Maybe about things that happened before you were born? Like, Have you ever smoked weed?, Did you ever sneak out of the house?, We’re you a virgin before you met my father? A lot of us wonder what our mothers were like before we came along. We like to think that our mothers are perfect but, ummm, that’s just not a realistic thought. Just like we’ve done things that we aren’t so proud of and mistakes, some more than others (I’m talking about myself), our mothers made some mistakes too. There are things that they would never want you to find out because maybe they’re embarrassed or they don’t want you to follow in their footsteps. But I think in a lot of cases, if parents were more open about SOME of their past mistakes, they could actually help their children through similar situations or maybe even prevent them from going through the same thing. So in honor of Mother’s Day I found a few mothers that were brave enough to share some of their past experiences with me. Not brave enough to let me share their names, but brave none the less. Check them out:

The Dentist Is My Friend ~ by T.

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“When I was younger I dated this guy whose dad had his own janitorial business, so he had keys to several offices in our town. My boyfriend would get his dad’s keys and we would go to different places and have sex. It really didn’t matter where because we would basically do it anywhere. But there was one place we seemed to visit often, the dentist office. One day when I was taking my son to his dental appointment with his new dentist, I thought I recognized the address but couldn’t figure out if I had been there before. Once we got inside I realized this was the same dentist office me and my ex use to visit to have sex. And my son and I actually sat in the same area that our little ‘adventures’ took place. I would die if he ever knew that his mom had sex in the same office where he gets his teeth cleaned.”

Mommy’s A Liar ~ by J.

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“When I was in high school I would go midnight bowling all the time. Well, at least that’s where my parents thought I was going. I was really out with my friends going to different bars. I thought I was getting away with it, but I later found out that my mom kind of suspected that I wasn’t really bowling. But my dad totally believed I was into bowling. So much so, that I later found out he was going to buy me my own bowling ball and bag. My mom later told me she was so close to letting him buy it for me just so I would have to drag that heavy thing with me every time I claimed to go bowling. I would never want my kids to know that I was lying about my whereabouts every time I left home. And it’s scary to think that they would ever lie about where they are when they start going out with their friends.”

THOT ~ by C.

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“I have dated a lot of men. Over the period of a few years I can count at least 34 men that I have dated. And I’m 34 years old now. Of course I did not have all of these men around my son, but for a while I was ‘out there.’ I wouldn’t want my son to know that I was a THOT…That Hoe Over There.”

I Maced Your Father ~ by S.

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“My relationship with my kids father has always been, for lack of a better word, rocky. We had an on and off again relationship. When he acted like a good human being we were together and happy, when he cheated with other women and even made a baby with someone else we would be broken up. Well one night my girls and I decided to hang out at a local club. Well, we hung out in the parking lot because, like most of the people hanging out in the parking lot, we weren’t old enough get in. What I didn’t know was that my boyfriend was also in the parking lot and he had another girl in his car. Of course I flipped out, although you would think I’d use to this behavior by now. We got into an argument and I ended up spraying him in the face with the mace I had attached to my key ring. We are not together today because I was finally smart enough to walk away. And I do not talk bad about him in front of my children because I never want them to know what kind relationship I had with their father. I don’t want to paint a bad picture of him and I definitely do not want them to think that I was stupid for putting up with his mess, LOL.”

Petty Theft ~ By M.

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“When I was younger I hung out with these two girls that were a really bad influence. We went to a store together one day and after we returned home one of them pulled out a pair of earrings she had stolen. I was shocked that she stole something and amazed that it was that easy to get away with it. We started going to various stores and shoplifting. We would take a shirt or a pair of pants. Well one day, unknown to us, store security was watching us. As we left the store security stopped us and we were escorted back into the store. Long story short we spent the night in jail. We were charged with misdemeanor theft and had to pay fines, given community service, and we were put on probation for one year. That’s why it’s so important for me to know my kid’s friends. I need to know who they are hanging around and where they are going when they leave the house. I don’t want them to have any bad influences that will lead to them making a stupid mistake that could follow them for years. I also don’t want them to be the bad influence on someone else, which is why I do my best to make sure they know right from wrong and the consequences of doing wrong.”

Taking The Back Roads ~ by K.

"Will it take you long to fix it ?.I have to be home in twenty minutes."

“One day after school I went to visit my boyfriend, one my parents didn’t know about. When I left I was rushing home because it was almost time for my mom to be home. On my way home my car stopped on a back road that I didn’t have any business being on because it was coming from my boyfriend’s house. Of course I had to call my mom. When she asked me why I was on that back road I told her that a police car was behind me so I turned onto another because I was nervous that he was going to give me a ticket. Well, my fuel pump had gone out on my car and I went like a month without a car because my mom made me save the money to have my car fixed. Something always goes wrong when you’re doing something that you’re not suppose to be doing. I wouldn’t want my son to know that I had relationships that my parents didn’t know about. I wouldn’t want him hiding anything like that from me. And my car stopping on that back road could have been a worse situation than it was if I didn’t have a way to call for help.”

WOW! You mothers are something else! But we’ve all done some things that we aren’t proud of. It’s called life! I know there are some things I would never want my kids to know but thankfully I’m never having kids so I won’t have to worry about that. But if I did have children, and they can read, ummmmm since mommy is a blogger that puts ALL of business out there for the world to read about…they will be able to read about all of my stupid mistakes. And I think I would be okay with that. If it helps them to know that mommy went through the same thing they may be currently going through, I’m fine with them knowing about the time I played the fool for a guy…several guys. Oh geez! Happy Mother’s Day Laughers!

As always…Keep Laughing!

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Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice.  Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.

Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice. Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.

Unapologetically Black

Markitta-1011ad

Turning Pain Into Laughter Since 2011

Some people say we’ve got a lot of malice
Some say it’s a lot of nerve
But I say we won’t quit moving until we get what we deserve
We have been bucked and we have been scorned
We have been treated bad, talked about as just bones
But just as it takes two eyes to make a pair, ha
Brother we can’t quit until we get our share
Say it loud: I’m black and I’m proud! ~James Brown

I am a black woman and I love all things Black. I love my brown skin and think that all shades of black are beautiful. I’m a paid member of the NAACP and was very active in the collegiate chapter of the NAACP when I was in college. I was a committee chair and sat on the executive board during my entire undergraduate career. I was a paid member of the Black Student Association also. I’m all for equal rights, equal opportunity, and the uplifting of ‘my people’. I support as many black businesses as I can and make a conscious effort not to participate in the putting down of other black individuals, or any individuals. But can a person be too pro black? To radical when it comes to enlightening society of the injustices done to the black community? Can someone play the race card too much, making EVERY situation an injustice toward black people? Well, I have a friend that we’ll refer to as Joe Black. Mr Black has been elected as the president of the “If It Ain’t Black Then It’s Just Wack” club. His job as president includes informing his subjects, on a daily basis, just how bad the human race treats all black people. I had the opportunity to ask Mr Black a few questions and I got some pretty interesting answers:

Me: You’ve been filling up your followers Instagram timeline with a lot of controversial posts on issues regarding injustices toward black people. People kind of see you as the king of informing the black, and white, community that the black race hasn’t come as far as the world says we have. What feedback have you gotten regarding your Instagram pics and Facebook status’?

Mr. Black: The most I’ve heard is, “Why are you posting this stuff?” or some of my white friends and followers have tried to convince me to ‘forget it’.

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Me: So why all the ‘informative’ posts now? Not that you haven’t always been pro black but you’ve been on it lately.

Mr. Black: You remember hearing the saying, “If you don’t want black people to know something put it in a book”? I started reading more. Plus I started watching more documentaries on our history. Lastly, some of the things I use to wonder about when I was young, come to find out I was right about most of what I thought about.

Me: How do you view the police? Do you respect their authority? Have your views on their roles and responsibilities to the community, as far as providing safety and security, changed any after doing your research? Especially in light of the recent incidences of black men being shot and killed by police officers.

Mr. Black: I don’t care too much for the police. Had one call me a nigger to my face once…at my own home. I do, however, respect a good cop but that doesn’t make them that good if they’re not fighting to change the things they see that are wrong. They keep quiet! They provide safety and security but mostly for whites against people who look like me. I do respect their authority but as you can see they abuse it…A LOT!

Me: How do you view other races? Particularly whites.

Mr. Black: I respect other races and their culture. However, I do wish that my race (African Americans) would build our own. Hell, we have a $1 trillion-dollar spending power. That, along with building up our own communities and businesses, generates much power. Sometimes I wish we had never integrated.

Me: WOW! Life without integration! How do you think things would be today?

Mr. Black: Before integration we were a ‘together people’. In every way, together. We had black cities, banks, businesses, etc. It wasn’t until we integrated that we started dividing. We integrated into a system that wasn’t created for us (black people). So they can and have made the rules to keep us out, down, divided, and dumb! Their laws are not made for us.

I have to admit, I kind of agree with his thoughts on integration. But to look at his Instagram and Facebook posts, one would think that he is extremely radical and against anything that isn’t Black. Fortunately, I know Mr. Black personally so I know this isn’t the case. But can one be too ‘pro black’? To the point where they seem to be racist against all non minorities? This is a quote from one of Mr. Black’s Instagram post:

“Besides what I posted the other day…another Black Man has been murdered! That’s number 111+ dead Black Men! Don’t want to hear ‘Let’s go to church and pray’. #FuckThat #FuckAmeriKKKa”

Do you get tired of your Facebook and Instagram friends filling up your timeline with reminders of how badly black people are treated? How much we went through to make it to today? How much is too much? Is it necessary to remind everyone that racism is still very much alive and the injustices to Blacks occur on a daily basis?

Check out some of Mr. Blacks posts and let me know if you think it’s ‘too much’:

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As always…Keep Laughing!

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Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice.  Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.

Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice. Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.