Wishing On A Star

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Turning Pain Into Laughter Since 2011

A few months ago I wrote a blog stating my views on marriage.  I got a lot of feedback, mostly negative.  Which is fine, if you’re going to dish it you got to be able to take it right?  Well, after having a discussion with one of my friend’s mom, I came to the conclusion that I am definitely in the minority when it comes to my views on marriage.  My friend’s mom stated, “Girl you have issues.  It’s every little girls dream to get married.  Every woman has been planning her wedding since she was a kid.”  1001-little-boy-proposing-to-little-girl_weI beg to differ.  When I was younger I never had dreams of getting married nor had fake weddings like many little girls do.  I guess I wasn’t the average little girl.  I mean, aren’t there better things to do when you’re a kid?  Like make mud pies and take things apart to see how they work…that’s how I spent my childhood.  As a child, you have no idea what you’re doing when you set out to plan your wedding.  All you know is that you want a pretty dress that makes you look like a princess.  You don’t even think about the husband and the actual marriage.  I think even today, most adults don’t think about the marriage because they are too busy planning the wedding.

As much as I would like to believe that I’m not the only one that didn’t have childhood dreams of getting married, it seems that I am always in the minority on most issues.  So my curious little mind did a little probing to find out just how many people have their dream weddings all planned out and just how long those plans have been in place:

 Honestly, I didn’t really have those dreams when I was younger…when I hit 30, I started wondering what a life with someone would be like…now that I’m 35 and a single mother I look at life a lot differently, because my priorities are to my kids first.  I believe that if God has that person for me, He’ll send him in His time, not mine. ~L.L.

 I didn’t dream of getting married, having a wedding, or having kids as a child, which now leads me to believe that adults who dreamed of getting married when they were kids are either married or have been married before. They tend to get married young, in their twenties. Those who dreamed of marriage as a kid, end up making it their priority, while those of us who were not mesmerized by it as a kid don’t make it a priority. ~Y.S.

 I don’t know if I really agree with this statement because I really didn’t think about weddings (not marriage, but weddings) until my early twenties.  And that is mainly because I started watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC.  As far as marriage goes, I’ve only recently been obsessing about that and that’s because I’m dating someone that I would like to make me a wife one day.  But I definitely still have some growing and maturing to do before I even consider that.  I’m still trying to figure myself out as a single woman! ~M.R.

 I don’t think every little girl grows up dreaming of getting married.  In today’s society most women have an independent mindset and feel that they can do everything on their own, even have a baby without a man, LOL.  A lot of single women bring up their daughters to have this same mindset.  I consider myself to be very independent but I definitely want to get married one day.  I was one of those girls that grew up dreaming of my wedding day.  Heck I still do.  I think marriage is one the most beautiful things that God created when it is done in the right context.  Committing your entire life to just one person is so deep and amazing to me and I can’t wait to be committed to someone through marriage one day! ~A.G.

Well, Well, Well…it looks like I’m not alone this time, with the exception of A.G.  YES!  I finally have some followers.  Thank God!  I was starting to think I was an ODDBALL! (no comments please)  My friend’s mom says I have “daddy issues.”  I’m sure I do have a few “daddy issues” because my father was not active in my life.  But I do not believe that is the reason for my marriage issues.  I have no problem being committed to someone…one day.  But I just cannot see myself getting married.  I don’t believe everyone was meant to be married.  And I believe I am one of those people.  Whenever I tell someone that, their response is usually, “Awwww!”  Why feel sorry for someone who says they don’t want to get married?  Is that the ultimate goal in life…graduate high school and get married?  Hmmmm, I hope not.  There has to more to life than marriage, even though some women think of nothing more than finding a husband.  I have a few Pinterest followers that do nothing but pin wedding dresses, reception décor, engagement rings, and bridesmaid dresses.  How about pinning some recipes or some new DIY projects so I can repin them and try them when I get bored from not having a husband. 😉

marriage-vs-wedding Reality is, not everyone is going to find their prince charming.  One reason for that is most women focus on the wedding more than the actual marriage.  They spend less time making sure the man they’ve decided to marry is the man God wants them to marry, and more time worrying about finding the perfect dress, the perfect flowers, the perfect venue, and anything else that will make this day “perfect.”  Do I have any facts to back up what I’m saying? Nope, sure don’t.  This is just my opinion, what I’m feeling.  I’m in no way saying put aside your dreams of finding a husband and planning a wedding.  But, just be sure to focus more on the marriage and less on the wedding.

Until Next Time Laughers…Keep Laughing!

~Kitta

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Markitta-1021Kitta, a native of Jackson, TN, is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? This Traveling Media Personality is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice.  Kitta believes in spreading joy, one laugh at a time.

Notes At 3am

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Turning Pain Into Laughter Since 2011

My sleep pattern has been off for the last 3 years. When I was in college I was in bed every night by 10pm, in preparation for my 5am job.  When I started grad school I started staying up all night doing homework and writing papers and trying to get at least 4 hours of sleep to be somewhat production for work the next day. Let me tell ya, going from working 15 hours a week while in college to working 40 hours a week and going to grad school can be a tragic life experience.  It can make or break you.  And now my sleep pattern is all screwed up.  So my sleepless nights have turned into 3am blogs.  These are just a few of the things that I notice and think about, feel free to add your thoughts at the end:

1. Recognize The Red Flags   RedFlags                                                                                            

Mistakes and experience have taught me to recognize the signs and red flags early.  Just as I was about to dive in heart first and head second, God said, “NOPE! That’s not what I want for you.”  And I actually listened the first time instead of investing my heart and praying for a sign later.  Early detection is key in everything, i.e,. health, business, and relationships.  Know when to walk away or take action.

2. Stop Contradicting Yourself   pray                                                                                        

We often contradict ourselves when talking to God.  We pray for one thing and go searching for something else.  For example, I’ve been praying that God blesses my business and my endeavors to work for myself, but everyday I wake up the first thing I think about is finding a better paying job and I go straight to my laptop to send out my resume, in search of that perfect 9 – 5 job with benefits; the perfect job that I know I don’t want.  And he has closed a lot of doors to the 9 – 5 jobs I’ve applied for.  I take that as a “I’m not going to stick you in a 9 – 5 because that’s not where I want you.  I’m about to give you what you asked for.”  And I’m cool with that.  Having patience is hard, but I refuse to give up on my dream.

3. I’m So Tired of Being Broke  need

It bothers me when people are constantly worried about money.  Yes, we all need money to provide us with our basic needs to survive.  And I’m not saying I don’t worry about having money to pay my bills.  What I am saying is that money worries do not consume me.  Money is not the source of all happiness and doesn’t solve all problems.  Now I’m not naive, money does make things a little easier.  Yes I have dreams of advancing and generating more income, but no matter how much money I DON’T have, God never let’s me go without.  I eat everyday, I drive my car everyday (with A/C), I lay my head on a pillow in a house everyday…I’d say I’m pretty well taken care of.  So until He decides I can be trusted with more, I’ll continue to be grateful for what I have now.

4. Your Vision Is Your Vision blog

Stop being upset because people aren’t as excited about your dreams and ideas as you are.  When embarking on something new the people most likely to NOT offer a lot of support are your family and friends.  I know you’re thinking that’s a messed up thing to say, but it’s true.  And it doesn’t mean they don’t love and care about you, or that they don’t want you to succeed.  It simple means they can’t see what you see.  Not everyone is going to see the whole picture of what you’re trying to accomplish.  All they can see is the “right now” work that you are doing, and what you’re doing right now may not make a lot of sense to them.  That’s because it’s not their vision, it’s YOURS! God gave it to you.  If He wanted other people to see it in it’s beginning stages he would have given it to others too.  You received this vision because He knows you can carry it out and bring it to life.  Keep pushing and let any negativity that comes your way be your motivation.

5. Everybody Wants to Be Famous twinkletwinkleimastarLOGO                                                  

Like Kevin Hart says, “Everybody wants to be famous but no one wants to put the work in.”  I saw something on Facebook that kind of bothered me.  Someone on my friends list has declared themselves a celebrity by default.  Is that possible?  By default I mean they have a relative who is semi-famous, and I use that term loosely because if I threw out the name you probably wouldn’t know who the heck I was talking about.  So many people see what is portrayed in the media of the life that celebrities live and they too want to live the fabulous life.  But your perception is not always reality.  We only see what they allow us to see.  We don’t see the everyday struggles they go through, which may be way more than we want to deal with.  Don’t be so quick to promote yourself to a higher position than you’re in now.  Being a celebrity is not all it’s cracked up to be, I’m sure.  And declaring yourself a celebrity without putting in any type of work makes you just as bad as the baby mamas living the life on Instagram that are “celebrities by default.”  Some of these ladies would not be known by name if it weren’t for their baby daddy’s celebrity status. Just silly…LOL

6. The Grass Isn’t Always Greener Envy-image.jpg

Stop envying what other people have.  Like my dude pictured here.  Yeah he’s all buff and fit, but he can’t even rest his arms. Can you imagine how tiring and frustrating that has to be!  Most of the time what you think others have is not what they really have and they probably wish they had what you have.  Like the ability to use their arms like a normal person.  We can easily look at others and think they are so happy and that they walk around all day singing “I ain’t got no worries.”  Once again, perception is not always reality.

                                            “People say the grass is greener on the other side.  The water bill is also higher.”                                                  ~Tyler Perry

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Until next time Laughers…Keep Laughing

~Kitta

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Kitta is a Laugh Coach, blogger and co-founder of Can I Laugh Now? She is a graduate of the University of Memphis, where she earned her degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice.  A native of Jackson, TN, she is currently marketing herself as a Traveling Media Personality.

You Already Know

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Can I Laugh Now? *Turning Pain And Embarrassment Into Laughter Since 2011*

You’ve been together for almost 3 years now.  You’ve met all of his family and friends, you’ve changed your relationship status on Facebook, and there are pictures of the two of you together all over Instagram…his mama even likes you.  So when is he going to make it official and declare his undying, unwavering love for you by putting a ring on it?  You’ve discussed it, he knows you’re praying for it, but he’s not ready.

You know she’s the one.  All the other girls you’ve dated have nothing on her. She’s smart, beautiful, successful; she loves God and is great with children.  She makes you feel like no one else has ever made you feel.  You know without a doubt that she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life.  But she’s is so success driven that marriage is not on her mind right now.  She wants to achieve all she can and go as high as she can in her career before she gets married and has a family.

waiting-time

Waiting on Mr or Mrs right but they seem to have gotten lost?  Most people are dating for a purpose.  That purpose is usually marriage…unless you’re like me.  I’m sure what my purpose for dating is, but it sure as heck isn’t marriage.  So if you’re dating to one day reach marriage, how long is too long to wait on someone to finally be ready for marriage? Should there be a limit on how long you wait for your boyfriend/girlfriend to get themselves together? I say no. Now let me explain that no.  Everyone has their own limit or breaking point and it usually varies depending on the situation.  So technically you can’t put an official time limit on how long you are suppose to wait on someone, but we do it anyway.

So how long do you wait on someone? Well, let’s look at your relationship.  Your wait time is going to depend on YOUR relationship.  Now I need you to be honest when answering these questions, don’t lie to save face.  The first and most important question is does this person love and have a relationship with God? If the answer is no, then they definitely do not love you and you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them.  There is no need for you to continue reading this blog…GET OUT NOW! If the answer is yes, keep reading.

Question 2: How long have you been in a relationship with this person? It is my belief that you should date at least 2 years before expecting the commitment of marriage. If it has been less than 1 year, stop rushing it. If it’s been 2 to 3 years, have a discussion about it, but don’t push the issue. If you have to constantly push the issue of marriage on someone, you probably shouldn’t wait on them. Something that has to be forced isn’t genuine.

Question 3: Does communicating with them seem like a burden…on them? Every time you try to talk to them their body seems to get heavy.  They start to slump over in exhaustion and their facial expression suddenly goes from sugar to salt.  Communication is key in a healthy relationship. If you can’t talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend without them fighting it, you will never get anywhere in that relationship.  It will always be one-sided because only one of you will be happy, and it won’t be you.

Question 4: Would you let this person have your ATM card and pin number…all day?  You have to have a significant amount of trust to let someone have your ATM card and pin number.  At least I would because I need ALL of my money, I ain’t got time for nobody to be dipping in.  If you can’t trust someone why would try to wait it out? Now at some point just about everyone in your life will do something to make you question whether you can trust them or not.  But, if this person has caused you to lose trust in them and they are not working to regain that trust, why are you waiting for them to get it together?  If you can’t trust someone you probably have very little respect for them.  Respect and trust…without there is no need to wait.

Question 5: Really?! You need more evidence as to whether you should wait around on someone??? Come on people! Truthfully only you can answer this question.  The examples I gave above are good reasons not to stick around, but only you know the details of your relationship and before reading this blog you already knew the answer to the question.  You know that gut feeling you have right now? Yep, you already know.

Right people energize you, wrong people exhaust you.  Are you energized or exhausted?  If you’re exhausted, you’ve been waiting too long.

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Until next time Laughers…Keep Laughing!

~Kitta

The Haves vs The Have Nots

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Can I Laugh Now? *Encouraging You To See The Humor In Life’s Embarrassing Moments*

Some people crave it. Some will do whatever it takes to get it. Some people are addicted to it and don’t know how to let go. Your parents want you to have, society thinks you can’t live without it. EDUCATION! We’ve been taught that without it, we’re nothing; that without, we will never have any of the luxuries that life has to offer. But what is education? Well, when most people think of education they think about knowledge that is acquired at a college or university. But Yahoo provides what I think is a more accurate definition of education: An instructive or enlightening experience. So Yahoo is suggesting that you don’t have to go to college to be educated? How dare they! Everyone knows that the only way to be educated and make lots of money and enjoy success is to go to college and get a degree…right? Hmph! Maybe we should rethink how label people as “educated.” I use to say, “I want an educated man.” Meaning I wanted a man who went to college. That was such an uneducated statement.

429896_10100141721306550_1095595369_n I have a college degree, but I’m a horrible speller…spell check and auto correct are my BFFs. I have a college degree, but I still use my fingers and toes to count. I have a college degree, but I still have those infamous “blonde” moments (sorry blondes). I have a college degree, but I still make stupid life decisions. I have a college degree…okay whatever, you get it. Having a college degree doesn’t automatically make one smart. In fact, there are very few people who actually use their degrees after college; meaning that many people work in fields that aren’t even related to what they went to school for. I know because I’m one of those people.

So why do so many people go after a “textbook education?” Why do so many high school students bust their butts to get good grades in order to get into a good school and receive a “textbook education?” Because people are taught that is the only way to make it. Not true. Now don’t get me wrong, I would not trade my education, my degree, my time in college, for anything. But 80 percent of my education obtained while pursuing my degree didn’t come from the classroom, it came from the experiences I had with the people I met, the organizations I was involved in, and the unexpected roadblocks and heartaches during that time. I learned the importance of diversity through the people I met, I learned how to be a good leader through the organizations I was involved in, I learned how to be strong all by myself when I was going through heartbreak. There were two people who would jump in their car without hesitation and drive an hour just to bring me what I needed or just to spend time with me, so I learned who I could and couldn’t call and depend on if I were ever in trouble. I learned that no matter how old I get, I will always be my mommy’s baby, and I’m fine with that–through meeting other people I saw that not everyone can claim that status with their mothers and that was a learning experience in itself. I learned that people will take advantage of you, if you let them, and you have to stake your claim in this world. Unfortunately nothing will be thrown in your lap, and just because you have a degree and no matter how hard you worked for it, people will not look at you and differently, you still have to prove yourself and your worth.

Education in any form is a powerful tool. Whether you’re educated through the formal teachings at a higher learning institution, educated through your life experiences or travel, or educated by the streets, you can use it to your advantage. But what you must always keep in mind is that you cannot put yourself above anyone else, thinking that your “textbook education” makes you smarter. I say that because I have seen it before. You are not guaranteed a job straight out of college. You may have to start in a job that think you’re too good for because you have a college degree. I had an associate that was in desperate need of a job, but she refused to work at certain places because, in her words, “Girl I have a college degree, I’m not doing that.” So she continued to eat hotdogs and noodles for dinner and borrow money from everyone because she couldn’t swallow her pride and take that right now job until God decided to bless her with a different position. You ever get upset because it seems like those without a college degree, the have nots, get better opportunities or make more money? Maybe it’s because you have no idea how hard they have worked to get to that point. Yes, you worked hard for your education and degree, but maybe they took a different route but still worked just as hard. No matter how much education you have, whether you’re part of the haves or the have nots, you cannot promote yourself before God says it’s time.

       “For everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled. And he who humbles himself shall be promoted.” ~Luke 14:11                      You are not promoted until God promotes you!

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~Kitta

“It’s All Mine…I Paid For It”

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Can I Laugh Now? *Encouraging you to see the humor in life’s embarrassing moments*

Synthetic or natural, Virgin/Raw, Brazilian, Indian, Yaki, Remy. It can be sewn, fused, bonded, or braided. What am I talking about? Weave! Many people believe that black women are the only ones the wear weave. NEGATIVE my dear readers. Weave is popular among all races: whites, Asian, Latinos, everyone. Weaves have become so common that people aren’t offended anymore when someone ask, “What kind of hair do you have in?” or “How much did you pay for that hair, girl that looks like that good hair?” Besides wearing braids I have never worn a weave. I know you’re saying, “Braids is weave chick!” But when I think of weave I imagine the free-flowing hair styles that are achieved by adding extra hair to get more volume and length to ones own natural hair. One reason I’ve never worn a weave is because of this crazy fear I have. I would think that if someone pulls your hair and you’re wearing a weave it would hurt more than if it were just your natural hair being pulled. Not that there is any hair pulling going on over here, but that’s just my crazy fear. It’s okay to laugh, I laugh at myself because I know how crazy that sounds.

So what is the fascination with hair weave? Why do women spend $100s of dollars on “extra hair?” Do you know what I could do with the money that some of the people I know spend on weave? Let’s just say me and the Micheal Kors website would be best friends. But seriously, why do so many women seem to be obsessed with wearing weaves? Is it a desire to be like the images they see in the media, an attempt to fit in, or insecurity? It almost seems to be an addiction for some. I had someone tell me once that she literally goes through fits when she takes her weave out; she can’t go more than 2 or 3 days before she has to have it put back in. And her own hair is beautiful and thick so I don’t understand the need for additional hair. I am not totally against wearing a weave, but I’m not a big fan of it either. So I wanted to get some additional opinions to see if I am missing the point or making too big of a deal out of the need for weave. Here’s what some women had to say:

photo32“I wear weave because I get tired of wearing the natural look all the time. I’m very diverse, especially when it comes to hair. I feel extra sexy when I have weave in. I don’t know why, but just the length and how it makes me look older gives me a new found confidence within myself. Weave is convenient and is a great protective style for my natural hair.” ~A.S.

“I’m a hair girl. I love everything about hair. I get bored easily and wearing a weave gives me the opportunity to change my style as much as I want without damaging my own hair.” ~B.K.

“I love my weave! But I started wearing it to transition from relaxed to natural hair. I wear sew ins and only wear Virgin hair. Virgin hair gives you ease without the tangles and matted weaves that is common with Beauty Supply hair. Weave gives you a chance to have some variety with your hair styles as well as keep your hair away from hot styling tools.” ~S.Y.

So what do men think about women that wear weaves? One of these comments shocked me:

“It doesn’t bother me. As long as it’s kept up and fits her face well.” ~E.B.

“I don’t like that most women are going natural. I am not a fan of the natural hair styles because they do not loo good on most women. Some can pull it off, but those that can’t should stick with the weaves or relaxers. I would rather have a woman with a weave than a woman with natural or “nappy” hair.” ~E.T.

“Hair style plays a huge part in who I date. If a woman starts off looking fake with fake parts such as hair, then it makes me ask, what else is she covering up.” ~A.A.

“As long as it’s not that cheap stuff where you can see the tracks, I have no problem with weave.” ~C.C.

“Wear it! Go to the salon and get it professionally done! Whatever makes you look good and sexy. If you can’t grow it…sew it!” ~R.S.

So it seems that most women wear weaves out of convenience. And most men just want the woman to look good, and if that means getting a weave, SO BE IT! Now I don’t want anyone to think that I am just anti weaves or that I’m too goo to wear a weave. It’s just not for me. What I do have a problem with are the girls that depend on things like hair weave to define their beauty. Long hair doesn’t automatically make you pretty or sexy. Beauty, true beauty, comes from within. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to look like the Beyonces and the Kenya Moores of the tv world. Everyone is unique in their own way. Yes, I like for my hair to look good; and let’s be real, when your hair looks good it makes you feel good. But in the end that’s not what defines my beauty. My hair can laid, but if my attitudes is stank then guess what, I’m still UGLY! I Samuel 16:7 says God see not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and wanting to look nice, but don’t let your outward appearance be the only thing that defines your beauty.

I want to know your thoughts on this subject. Leave your comments by replying to this blog.

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Until next time Laughers…Keep Laughing

~Kitta

I do?…I don’t!

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Can I Laugh Now? *Encouraging you to see the humor in life’s embarrassing moments*

Here’s what I think about marriage. I’m thinking I don’t want any parts of it. So many people ask me, “Kitta, do you really not want to get married…ever?” And my answer is YES! I really do not want to get married…EVER (in all caps so you know it’s real). Go ahead and have a seat so I can tell you my thoughts. Now if you’re happily married then kudos to you, may God continue to bless your marriage. But I gotta be honest, I talk to a diverse group of people, young, old, black, white; and none of them make me envious of the fact that they’re married and I’m not. And if you’re one of those people that I associate with, my apologies, but it’s true. Every time I talk to you I am happy to still be single.

Now I’m about to be brutally honest so don’t you judge me! And you may want to go ahead and have that seat I spoke about earlier because it’s about to get real up in here, up in here. I believe that one of my biggest fights with God is the fact that I do not want to get married, but I sometimes want to do the things that married people do. Wipe that stank look off your face! The struggle is real and I know I’m not the only one who thinks and feels that way. I’m just one of the few that’s bold enough to admit it and share it with the readers of this blog. And it’s not like I’m out spreading my unmarried wild oats; I said sometimes I WANT to do the things that married people do, didn’t say I act on those feelings.

Someone made the comment that me wanting to do the things that married people do without getting married, is like wanting to earn a paycheck without actually working. Um no ma’am, I disagree with that comment. Don’t ask me why, I just do. I know what the bible says about this–1 Corinthians 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. And let me reiterate, and I can’t stress this enough, I am not actually out doing the things that married people do. I just sometimes want to. So now let’s get to the real meat of this blog, why I don’t want to get married…EVER! And at the end of this blog I’m going to tell you something that will make your mouth drop so keep reading. 😉

I associate with quite a few married people and they do not make marriage look attractive. I had someone say that marriage is what you make it. Ummm, that’s all you have to say about your marriage? Where is the, “I’m so in love with my wife” or “I love being married to this man”? I mean I’m already trying to make the best of this thing called life, you mean I have to just make the best of being married? No! If I get married I want it to be because we are in love and I want us to remain in love with each other. Yes I expect to have ups and downs but I want to be able to say more than “marriage is what you make it.” Now I know what you’re saying, “Don’t most people get married because they are in love?” Yes, but how many remain in love? And how many stay together out of convenience?

Okay, Okay I’m done babbling. Reason #1 why I don’t want to get married is that I don’t want to have to ask or discuss my plans with anyone. For example, when me and friends make plans to go out to dinner or drinks or whatever, my married girlfriends of course, have to discuss it with their husbands first. I like not having to discuss my plans with anyone else. If I want to go to Zimbabwe and buy a zebra, guess what I don’t have to make sure it’s okay with my better half first, I just go. Well, not really because I can’t afford to do that and I’m afraid of animals…but you get what I mean. Now I agree that the respectful thing is to talk to your mate before you make any plans, I just don’t want to, which is why I’m single.

Coolest quotes - - 21Reason #2, I don’t want to have all of my me time taken away. Me time, I love it, I crave it, I must have it. I am actually somewhat of a loner. If you know me or know of me, I probably come off as someone who loves being around people, and I do…30% of the time. The other 70% is reserved for me, myself and I. One of my married friends commented about how when she first got married she had to get accustomed to having her husband come and sit on the couch with her while she was trying to watch one of her favorite television shows. She was use to being able to sit on her couch, alone, and relax while watching television. Let me tell ya, I like coming home to an empty house and sitting on the couch ALONE! Unless I’ve just watched an episode of Criminal Minds or Forensic Files, then you can sit with me on the couch because those shows sometimes spook me…but I love them!

Reason #3, I don’t want to get married, just to get divorced. I have seen so many people going through divorces, even had a really close friend go through it and it broke my heart to see her go through that pain. I once heard someone say that it would be easier to lose your spouse to death than divorce, because divorce feels just like death; but instead you have to watch this person build a new life with someone else. WOW! I’m not saying all marriages end up in divorce, but a lot of them do. Call me chicken, but I’m not willing to take that risk.

Reason #4, I don’t want to become an old boring married couple. The married people I know never do anything fun. I know several people that were always down to have fun…until they got married. I have a friend that was so much fun to be around, and then he got married. His wife sucked all of the fun out of him! Because she doesn’t like to do certain things he can longer do them either. She doesn’t drink, so he can’t drink either (now if your spouse is a recovering alcoholic then by all means, be respectful of that). She doesn’t like to go ANYWHERE, so he can’t go ANYWHERE either. Just because your spouse doesn’t enjoy certain things doesn’t mean you have to give up those things too. As long as everything is done in moderation and you are not disrespecting your spouse or marriage, you should still be able to have fun. I don’t go out much but I don’t want to be confined to my house because my spouse is a lamer and doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere.

Reason #5…yeah I don’t have anything else, I just don’t want to get married. I think I’ve given you enough reasons. And by now you all are probably thinking this girl is either crazy or has been hurt…A LOT! Well it’s a little bit of both, because let’s be real, we’ve all been hurt and we all have a little bit of crazy in us that we use when necessary. The big truth is I love being single. I love being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I don’t want to make time for someone else in my life right now. I have too many other things I want to do and marriage is not one of them. For all those that desire to be married, great, keep praying for the one God has designed for you and don’t settle. Will my thoughts and feelings on marriage ever change? I think my mom is praying that they will. Oh, and remember I said that I had something that would make your mouth drop? Well here it is…..

I have a secret board on pinterest that only I can see. On this board is nothing but wedding stuff…dresses, flowers, rings, decorations, etc. I have my whole wedding planned out and I even know who I want my future husband to be. But I know that’s up to God because he could have someone else in mind. And no it’s not Usher. I love him but I’m not as delusional as I may seem him it comes to him.

Utterly confused now? Yeah me too. LOL

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Until next time Laughers…Keep Laughing

~Kitta